Monday, March 23, 2009

Helicopter Coloring

Not surprisingly, one learns a lot about a person's parenting style from watching them while her child is coloring or playing with stickers.

I don't remember being told which colors to use in drawings during elementary school, or my mother constantly critiquing my coloring skills. On the other hand, one of my friends told me that when he drew a rainbow-colored banana in school he was harshly "corrected" by his teacher for using the "wrong" colors. 

Many parents who come into the clinic express deep pride in their children's ability to hold a crayon and draw a few squiggly lines on construction paper, not bothering them about color schemes or if the crayon will show up on a particular color. My sentiment is that each child, to the extent of his ability, he should be given the opportunity to teach himself or practice certain skills without an adult hovering over him so that he can slowly gain a sense of independence.  

Other parents clearly feel that their children have to be trained to draw and color the "right" way (the parent's way) rather than letting them do something on their own. Even before the child makes a "bad" color choice or peels off a sticker, the parent is quick to solemnly murmur "be careful! Be careful! You're going to rip it!" or "That's not going to show up." 

Often, a parent won't ask the child if they want help with a sticker, proceeding to peel it off and muttering about the consequences of peeling too fast or from the wrong starting point. When the child is just about to place a sticker on a background paper, some parents start fretting over the exact placement. The more subtle ones might say something like "oh… you're putting the snake there?" Others start pointing at "good" spots, arguing for them with the tone one might use while planning a battle.

Where do I end up? Sitting in the middle, smiling when a child decides to make a cactus play maracas.

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